


Bat Bogey Hex

by Bagge



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Good Weasley Family (Harry Potter), Humor, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25785448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bagge/pseuds/Bagge
Summary: Fred and George have a little heart to heart with Ginny about protection.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	Bat Bogey Hex

**Author's Note:**

> Quite mature (or immature) language. Characters belong to Rowling.

"Dear sister!" said Fred. "You have now reached the age of fifteen. The time of your life when you are transfigurating from a little girl to a young woman."

"In many ways," said George darkly.

"So you finally noticed?" mocked Ginny.

"Don't interrupt," Fred went on. "This is a very complicated time for a girl, so we are told. Strange and confusing."

"In many ways," said George.

"You will notice that you will harbour a lot of weird feelings and emotions. You might find boys strangely attractive."

"In many..." began George, but Fred went on.

"But boys themselves can often be shockingly immature, insecure and downright disappointing."

"In many ways," said Ginny with emphasis, actually throwing her brothers off balance for a moment. "Well, tell me something I don't know," she continued.

"Right," said Fred. "Therefore it is time for your dear brothers..."

"That is us!" said George.

"...to have a little heart to heart with you about your protection."

"Wait!" said Ginny, holding up a hand. "If this is going to be a speech about using preventives, mother already told me that. Many times."

"Yeah," said George. "When you screw someone, make sure he uses a condom."

"Better carry a few with you," said Fred, putting his hand in his pocket and producing a few of the said items, tossing them to his for the moment speechless sister. "Since young men usually are as thick as Percy's cauldron bottoms you can't relay on them bringing the goods."

"Anyway," said George, "that was not what we were going to talk about."

"No?" said Ginny, still heavily blushing. She did pocket the condoms, however.

"No!" said Fred. "What we were going to say was that you, now when you are developing into such a _fine_ young woman might find that you attract unwelcome affection from previously mentioned boys."

"In many ways," said George.

"Now, should that happen," Fred went on, "there happens to be six quite protective brothers around that would happily beat the offender to pulp."

"In MANY ways!"

"That will certainly make my dates much easier," Ginny muttered.

"And since we thought you might react that way, and since you can be quite stubborn once you put your mind to something..."

"In many ways!"

"Can you stop saying that, George?"

"I am only agreeing with you."

"Well, stop THAT then."

"No way."

"Good... er... wait a minute..."

"You where talking about an alternative to beating my boyfriends to pulp," Ginny reminded.

"Right," Fred went on. "The alternative is of course you doing the beating yourself."

"Make sure the potential suitors learn how to treat a lady," said George.

"Give the boys in your proximity a good reason to treat you with respect," said Fred.

"I can fight," said Ginny a bit offended. "I'm not letting anyone take advantage of me."

"Of course you can fight," said George.

"I still have a scar on my left elbow to prove it," said Fred.

"But we have something slightly more _refined_ in mind."

"Something more elegant."

"Both humiliating and effective."

"Guaranteed to provoke respect."

"As well as keeping unwelcome affection on arms length."

"Well," said Ginny, intrigued. "Spit it out. What is it?"

"Dear sister!" said the brothers in unison. "We give you the Bat Bogy Hex."

"The what?"

"The bat bogy hex," repeated Fred.

"Developed by The Weasley Wizard Wheezes..."

"That is us!"

"... for you convenience and protection."

"What does it do?" asked Ginny.

"You will see, little sis. Wand out." Ginny willingly produced her wand.

"Now, if you please point it at George's nose..."

"Wait a minute - why mine?"

"Because you are a caring and loving older brother who do not mind a certain amount of personal discomfort in order to help your dear little sister cope with a strange and confusing time of her life."

"Oh."

"As I said, if you please point your wand at George's nose - which should be an easy target given its enormous size..."

"Hey!"

"...and then flick the tip of the wand first downwards, then slightly to the left, then up again, without moving your hand to much... no, smaller movements... yes, I think that will do. Then you incantate _Molossus_ , emphasing the _us_ just as the tip of your wand is pointing at his abnormous nose again. Please try it."

"I still think this plan has certain drawbacks," George complained, small beads of sweat trickling from his forehead as he watched Ginny practising the wand movements, getting better at it for each time.

"Really? I can't think of any," Fred said airily, nodding approvingly at his sister. "In your own time, Ginny."

"Ok... down, left, up, _Molossus!_... oh dear."

"Excellent!" cried Fred, rushing forth to hug Ginny, who was staring with a mix of shock and absolute delight at the screaming George who was running round in circles, flaying wildly at what a moment ago had been peaceful boogies, but now was black, grotesque monsters, flying around him and attacking him.

"Very... good... Ginny... ARRRRGH!" he managed.

"This is wonderful," she cried. "Absolutely wonderful. I can't wait to try it on Malfoy."

"AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHH!"

"Er... how do I turn it off?"

"We never bothered to make a counter curse," Fred shrugged, watching his pitifully screaming brother with interest. "It wears of soon enough. But I would say that after a minute or so fighting his own boogies, any boy you choose to use this beauty on is in no state to offend you further."

"This is the coolest thing I have ever seen!" Ginny exclaimed, giving her grinning brother a hard hug. "Thank you ever so much."

"We are only glad to help, little sis," said Fred. "Make us proud. Make good use of it."

"In many ways," panted George, finally free from the hex. Ginny smiled at him, delight and excitement radiating from her whole being.

"I will, dear brothers. I will."


End file.
